


your smile

by elevggo



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Gay, M/M, Reddie, richie is a mess, richie is with a dick for a while
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-21 19:40:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13747899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elevggo/pseuds/elevggo
Summary: richie just wants someone to love him. he finally gets a new boyfriend, he makes him smile a lot. a little too much, eddie notices. so much it looks like the smile isn't even real.





	1. your smile is as bright as the sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys !! i hope you like this fic, i'll be updating it soon! i've been working on this really hard so i hope you like it <3

"He's just so wonderful, Eds!"

Richie and Eddie lay on Richie's front lawn underneath a blanket of stars. Richie had gotten asked out by a boy named Shane, and of course, he accepted. Eddie didn't know that much about Shane, but from what he's seen of him he seems okay...but something didn't feel right. He wasn't sure what it was, but the feeling was strong.

Richie smiled big, bigger than Eddie had ever seen him smile. He wondered if it hurt to smile that big. He smiled, "he seems nice. I'm glad he makes you happy, Chee."

He sighed happily, still looking up at the sky. "Yeah, he does."

After a few moments, Eddie was about to say something but Richie broke the silence before he could. "It doesn't even feel _real_. Like nothing should be this good."

"Well it is, Rich. You deserve something this good."

"Thanks, Eds," he didn't take his gaze away from the sky, "it might not be real!" he smiled even wider, his plump lips stretching. "It's probably all fake, but I don't care. I don't care if he doesn't actually like me. He's real for now and that's all that matters."

Eddie stared at him, trying to comprehend what he was saying. He was saying such things with the biggest smile...No wonder it didn't feel right.

It's fake.

The biggest, fakest smile Eddie had ever seen.

"Real for now?"

Richie turned on his side to look at him, a hand under his head to prop him up. "Yeah, haven't you noticed? People tend to only be 'real' for a little while before you find out they weren't real at all. They would never be real for you. They can leave so easily because they weren't really there."

Eddie stayed silent, simply because he didn't know what to say. He had never seen Richie act like this, ever. It was frightening him. Eddie had been worrying about him for a while now; he hadn't been acting like himself lately. This only made his concerns worse, he hated seeing him like this. He wondered if he thought Eddie was real at all.

"He'd better make me better, Eds." He shut his eyes hard, his voice quivering slightly, "If not, I don't know what I'll do."

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

 

Richie seemed happy enough. Shane had begun to join the losers at lunch or when they'd hang out so much that he practically become a new member of the group. No one minded really. In fact, everyone absolutely _adored_ him. He was funny, nice, and generally seemed to be good for Richie.

Eddie knew he wasn't.

When he was around Shane, Richie smiled like _that_. The same big smile he had seen last night. He knew nothing about this was right.

He saw how Shane would sometimes pull him aside, whispering things to him that made his face shrivel up in guilt. Eddie hated it. He hid it well from the others, smiling as wide as his mouth would let him when he came back, but Eddie saw. Eddie saw the hurt hidden in Richie's face. He could never hear the things he would say to Richie, but he knew it was nothing good. He knew the whispers only got worse, since the longer the relationship went on, the bigger the smiles stretched.

Eddie wanted to save him from Shane. He had no idea how he'd do it, but he wanted to. It twisted Eddie's heart to see Richie like this; he just wanted him to be happy. He deserved to be happy. But Shane would barely even let him _near_ Richie. He would rarely let him alone with anyone at all really, but he was even more suspicious of Eddie. He knew that he knew. Sometimes Eddie thought he caught Shane glaring at him, but he turned his head to fast for him to tell.

Eddie hates Shane for the way he makes Richie feel. 

You wouldn't be able to tell unless you looked really, really close, but you could see the bags under Richie eyes, darker than usual. Often, they were red. He wasn't himself anymore. He was a mess; an even bigger mess than he was before. A mess that needed to be saved, but Eddie was no superhero; he didn't know how to save anyone.

Their relationship went on for weeks, weeks quickly becoming months. As time went on, Richie seemed to distance himself from the losers more and more. At first it started with Richie ditching them on movie nights for date nights with Shane, which quickly led to them barely even seeing him in the halls anymore. 

Sometimes Eddie did pass by him though, and when he did he would always wave. Richie would glance at him and hurry to look away, refusing to wave back. It was obvious he wanted to, but it was as if something -or someone- was holding him back.

When Eddie told the rest of the losers this they all looked fairly confused; he always waved back at them, but never Eddie.


	2. so tell me why can't i see anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i changed the name bc i felt it was a bit too long!! enjoy :)

Eddie's phone rang suddenly, making him jolt in his seat. He took his attention away from his homework, checking his phone to see who was calling. The caller ID read 'chee' along with a few heart emojis. 

Eddie grasped the phone almost immediately, pushing answer quickly before it was too late. Richie hadn’t talked to him or the others for weeks; he’d left them on read, ignoring them any chance he could get. He was with shane, of course.

Eddie knew shane was hurting him, but he couldn’t do anything about it. He tried his best to, though. He had tried contacting richie in any way possible, but he had him blocked pretty much everywhere. He even tried talking to shane, but as you’d expect, that didn’t go well either. There was almost no way he could talk to him without getting stared down by Shane.

"H-hello? Richie?" Anxiety bubbled up in his stomach as he spoke, wondering why he was even calling him.

“Eds?” Eddie felt his heart twist at the sound of his voice, plus the sound of his old nickname. He pretended as if he hated it, but honestly he loved it. It was his and Richie’s thing. He missed it more than anything...but maybe not as much as he missed Richie himself.

“Yeah, it’s me...how’s it going?” eddie bit nervously onto one of his nails.

“Can i come over?” there was a slight quiver in his voice, as if he were trying not to cry.

“Uh, i’ll have to ask my-”

“Please?” Richie’s voice sounded like a scream for help; Eddie had never heard him so desperate. Eddie quickly grew even more anxious, wondering if something had happened.

Eddie bit his lip, “Okay. Come on over, I’ll be here.”

“Thank you,” richie said meekly right before hanging up without a goodbye.

Eddie quickly explained to his mother than Richie was coming over for an emergency study session, and luckily she agreed that he could stay for a while. He waited nervously for the knock on his front door; he paced, doing anything he could to pass the time. He finished his homework, cleaned his room and even some of the kitchen.

After what seemed to be hours of waiting (in reality it was just about fifteen minutes at most), Eddie finally heard the long awaited knock. He quickly answered the door, Richie being behind it.

Eddie started to smile at him, but his expression made him stop immediately. It was the farthest from what he had been seeing recently; that fake, fake smile. Now it was just...nothing. It felt like his face was just blank. No smile, no frown, no anything. Just a blank, dead stare. This somewhat terrified Eddie; now he knew something was wrong. Terribly wrong. Or good.

Eddie called over to his mom saying they were going upstairs, and they did just that. once they reached his room, Richie took a seat down on a chair while Eddie sat on his bed. Eddie stared at him, analyzing him. it was almost scary to see him without that smile, but it was relieving in a way, too. It was like being lost; being scared of being so so alone, but being relieved when you've finally made it back.

he fidgeted a bit, messing with his cuticles. “everything alright?”

Richie looked down, biting the inside of his cheek. eddie could see tears forming in his eyes. “we broke up.” he said quietly.

Eddie’s eyes widened. He had to be honest; joy filled him when he heard those words. He knew Richie was in pain, but this was good for him. Good for him as long as he can pick the broken pieces of himself up that Shane had crushed.

Eddie moved closer slowly, putting a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. “are...are you okay?”

Tears began to stream down his face, staining his cheeks wet. “No I'm not okay...I don't know what I did wrong!” His voice was harsh, yet weak. Eddie moved closer to hug him, wrapping his arms around him safely. Richie held onto him with what felt like a death grip, sobbing into his shoulder.

“Richie, you did nothing wrong, I promise. It isn't your fault you broke up.”

“Y-yes it is! He said it w-was because I was too clingy. I did this and it's all my fucking fault!”

Eddie pulled back a bit, holding his face in his two hands. He looked directly at him, holding his face so he couldn't look away. “Richie, listen to me. you didn't do anything wrong, okay? You aren't too clingy. You aren't too much of anything. You're perfectly fine, Richie.”

“Then why am I so unlovable?” Eddie looked into his eyes, tears pouring out of them like a waterfall. It was almost like he couldn't stop crying if he wanted to. His eyes screamed only sadness; there wasn't a bit of happiness to be found in them. 

“You _are_ lovable, you always have been. Your friends love you, and we always will.”

“Then what do I keep doing wrong?”

“I don't...I don't think _you're_ doing anything wrong. It's the guys you get with. They aren't good.”

“Shane was good to me…”

“Was he, Richie? Was he?”

“I…” Richie looked down, dumbfounded. Was he good for him? He wasn't, was he? 

“It’s okay. It's...probably better you aren't with him anymore, if I'm honest.” Eddie spoke hesitantly, afraid of upsetting him more.

“Maybe it is. B-but it still hurts.”

“I know, Richie. and it will hurt for a little while, but you'll be better without him.” he reached over and squeezed his hand. “We’ll help you through it.”

“Thank you.” He squeezed his hand back. “Thank you. I'm sorry I've been ignoring you guys, he...he didn't like you all.”

“Yeah, I could tell. It's alright.”

“You sure?” Eddie nodded in reply. Richie didn't let go of Eddie’s hand, and he didn't pull away either. It was keeping him calm somehow. “I just need to meet a good guy.”

“Yeah, yeah you do.”

Richie looked down at their hands, Eddie’s still over his. He bit his lip, an expression spreading over his face as if he were thinking hard. “What if I already have?”

“Huh?”

“Y’know, like...maybe the person I need has been sitting right in front of me this entire time and I didn't even know.”

Eddie looked at him, trying to understand what he was saying. “What do you mean?”

He looked up to him, his eyes no longer full of sadness. Eddie could see something else: hope. 

“Maybe it's you, Eddie.”


End file.
